The Soul Spark Coach: Awaken. Nourish. Soar.

For me the hardest type of “bad” days are the ones that happen all in my head. Nothing horrible or traumatic happened to me today.  In fact, several lovely things happened.

But it just goes to show that what is “out there” really isn’t all that indicative of our internal state of mind.  So often we are chasing the next thing we want, thinking how happy we will be if we get the shoes, lose the weight, grab the guy (or kiss the girl!), land the job or paint the deck.  Often, the wanting is much more entertaining than the having.  And, it helps to notice, no matter what we actually do get, the wanting , the next desire, is always there, it’s own perpetual motion machine.

So anyway, today my thoughts were less my friend and more my critic.  Which is a wonderful thing up to a point.  In the internal world, honesty is currency.  The more compassionate honesty you have with yourself, the father you can journey through the terrain of the inner world.

I have noticed, however, than when my energy is low…I’m a little tired, a little run down, a little sad… it’s oh so easy for that all-important “compassionate” to get left off the compassionate honesty.  And all to easy for honesty to fall off the track and splash around in a swamp of just plain critical.

Ick.

So what do you do? Because, honestly, that swamp of self-pity and criticism  is just not a helpful place.

Although I think that as a culture we are far too quick to hurry people out of discomfort and grief, I make a distinction between tough, self-revealing times and tough, self-destructive times..  Too often we would prefer others avoid their own “dark night of the soul” because it feels so uncomfortable to us.  We have a thriving drug system to cover up all those difficult emotions.  And if you are lacking a diagnosis and a prescription, there’s alcohol, tv, gossip, adrenaline/thrill seeking, procrastination… you name it, there is an activity you can abuse as pure numbing distraction.

But the question that comes up for me is, what does that kind of cover-up change? It takes courage to go against the cultural norm. It’s hard to feel like you are not only fighting your own inner demons but are also, usually, feeling like you are going it alone.  But it’s worth it to find what works for you.  Since you’re going to do something anyway, why not do things that will raise your energy or move your forward or bring you insight?  If something has come up for you, why not dive in and meet it?

Top 10 Solutions For A Bad Day (That’s All in Your Head):

1. Reach out.  You are not the only one thinking what you are thinking and feeling what you are feeling.  Really.  Reach out to someone with more perspective, or at least a positive bent.  Have you noticed how often we connect around our pain?  The kind of support that breaks the “inner swamp” cycle is empathetic but outside the swamp.
    
2. Choose Positive Ritual. Is there something you like to do that always makes you feel better?  Not distraction-oriented, short-term pleasure that you will use to guilt or shame yourself later.  Real pleasure that lifts you out of the swamp and helps you feel more grounded.  For me it’s a walk in nature. (A long soak in a peaceful hot springs also works, but usually isn’t available!) It can be hard to get out the door when you’re in the midst of all those feelings, but the practice has an added bonus — after a while, you know how much better that walk  makes you feel, and you carry that with you even when you feel mucky.  That makes it easier to choose that all-important first step, the one where  you choose to work for yourself instead of against yourself.
    
3. Read Something Grand. You can go two directions with this.  you can read something with more positive perspective, something that you find inspiring and comforting.  Or you can read something like “The Worst Hard Time” by Timothy Egan.  This is a great book about the Dust Bowl during the Great Depression and it is guaranteed to make you realize you don’t have it as bad as your swamp thoughts would like you to believe.
    
4. Recognize the Energy.  When you get caught in a headful of bad thoughts, recognize that just like a strong current, those thoughts have their own pull, their own flow.  Once you get caught up in your own negative intent, you also get caught up in your own negative pleasure.  Wallowing in that swamp and listening to those rationalizations will let you feel reasonable being a victim.  You break all your promises to yourself while telling yourself something like, “I deserve this.” Or, “a little won’t hurt.”  Or maybe, “green pickles on everyone else anyway!” Feeding that current of negative intention, however, just makes it harder for you to see the truth — that the greater current of who you are is always positive, always with you, always available.  The more you feed the negative intent, the more you cover your ability to see the bigger picture with blinders of shame and guilt. The good doesn’t get farther away.  But you can make choosing to see it harder.
    
5. If you must rampage, go on a rampage of Gratitude. This is a great tool for shifting your energy.  Start with what is immediately around you and give it your attention. Appreciate everything you can about it.  The clothes you are wearing, the fingers on your hand, the neurons in your brain, the sky or the ceiling above you.  Anything at all that you can perceive, start a cascade of appreciation for it.
    
6. Service. Do something for someone else. Preferably, do something for someone for no reason other than service or kindness.  If we are already feeling swampy, it can be difficult to do something for our loved ones that is really clean – given with no expectations, no strings.  So choose someone you expect nothing from anyway.  The act of service reminds us we are all connected.  It supports the broader perspective that your larger nature is one of well-being and love.  And sometimes, it’s easier to start with positive intent directed outside ourselves.
    
7. Take positive action on the thing that’s bothering you. Sometimes we overlook this simple solution. There’s always a trigger.  What did you decide about reality internally that had you jumping into the swamp? Did you get overwhelmed?  Are you ignoring the polite, adult call for rest, but it’s somehow Ok to create trauma or drama to let yourself off the hook?  Are you choosing to feel guilty rather than remorseful, which implies that you actually take action to make the situation right?  If, in the back of your head, you know what this is all about, and you know you really should go apologize, or clean up your mess, or accept responsibility, or take a break… then do that.
    
8. Mama Mia. Ok, I am showing my age here, probably.   Still this movie is full of fun and passion, self discovery and failure, humanity and humor.  It’s really hard to feel bad while imagining dancing around a sunny Greek isle in love.  Find some joy and exuberance and shake the swamp gasses right off.
    
9. Forgive yourself. Whenever I get into a rotten head space, I manage to tack on some self-disgust for having fallen into this again anyway.  This is just silly.  Again, this kind of energy has it’s own current, it’s own pull.  It’s part of you –  you can compassionately explore what it has to tell you.  But in no way is it the greater part of you.  Forgive yourself for thinking that it is and move on.
    
10. Nourish Yourself. Break the circuit.  Re-energize.  Underneath the negative intention and self-pity, there is usually a real need.  Where are you not taking care of yourself? Where are you inviting an experience of hardship into your life by refusing to rest, nurture, or re-fuel in real ways?  Bring yourself back into alignment with the flow of your own well-being by practicing well-being. Nourish your heart, your soul, your imagination.  Like an overtired child, you get a very different response with a hug, a soothing voice, and help getting to bed than you do by spiteful critique.  What do you need?  What do you long for?  What if you gave it to yourself?
     

I welcome your comments and participation (comment below!  Sign up above!  Email me —  laura@thesoulsparkcoach.com — I’d love to hear from you).  I am building a website that I hope will be of service to you. Follow me on Twitter (SoulSparkCoach) or friend me on Facebook.   I want to learn what YOU would like to see here. Participate and shape what’s coming!

Ever wonder if there’s more to you than what you are letting people see?

Do you feel trapped in a box you can’t get out of, as if the life you’ve created has gotten too small for you?

Have you caught yourself feeling old?

Are you struggling through your daily responsibilities, but inside you feel desperate for some time for yourself, some deep nurturing?

There is more.  You can heal.

You can create a life you are excited to experience every moment of, a life you are grateful for every day.

I know because I have found “more.”

I know because I have healed myself from degenerative arthritis.

I know because I have taken my passion for the creative possibilities that are the essence of all of us, and inspired many others to find the courage to create their own magical life.

For  two decades I have been enjoying my journey and working one-to-one with clients in a variety of ways, from bodywork and counseling to  nutrition and energy healing.  Now, I am so excited to be able to help more people create a life FULL of soul, a life that shines from within and brightens everything it touches.

Please sign up in the box above (you get a free Affirmations Secrets report, my gift to you, just for joining me in the beginning!)  Keep connected as the Soul Spark Community grows, and be the first to receive special access to my life-changing Awaken. Nourish. Soar materials. The coaching programs and workbooks that are coming will make it simple for you to begin transforming your life.

Looking for support right now? Ready for massive change or just want the full personal touch? I still have a few openings for private coaching.  Contact me by phone or email  - I value your time and I’m an expert at what I do.  I can tell you in less than 15 minutes if the techniques I use are the ones that will fast track you to YOUR goals.

406.493.1436

Laura[at]thesoulsparkcoach.com  (sorry about the funny syntax there, but my work is most helpful to real people, less so for spam-bots!)

P.S.  I’m sticking this post to the front page for a while.  Looking for the most recent blog entry?  Just scroll down! Thanks for visiting and here’s to your joyful growth     – Laura

I Love this drink!

My garden gave me so much mint this week, thus this recipe was inspired.  Perfect when you’re not ready to let go of the last hot days of summer.

Tip: this is best, most refreshing, most intense and wonderful lemonade ever! However, if you make it as directed, it will come out green.  If you’re not already used to drinking green drinks, green smoothies, and water with super-greens, this could be a problem.  If so, use 1/2 the amount of mint given here, crush it, and add it at the end.  Let the lemonade sit for a few hours in your refrigerator. It will still have a mint taste —  but it won’t be the powerful green lemon kick of this wonderful, healthy treat.

Intense Mint Lemonade

1 cup fresh squeezed organic lemon juice
1 packed cup fresh mint leaves (approximately the amount of leaves from three whole large stems)
3/4 cup agave syrup
1 cup ice
4 cups cold water

Blend well until all the mint is very well blended in and the drink is slightly slushy.  Makes 4 tall glasses of intense refreshment.

Drumroll, Please….

Good Morning and Thank You to everyone who participated in Your No-Excuses Contest.

Here are the winners:

Carolyn P.

Victoria H.

Mary V.

Congratulations!  Posting on a newish website takes both guts and faith, and I really appreciate the heartfelt sharing.  Each of the winners has bagged a Free 30 minute laser coaching session and the glow that comes from taking action in support of your dreams.  Way to go!

Tell Me Your Reasons “Why Not” and Win a 30-minute Coaching Session! (Your Chance to Bust Those Excuses)

• Tired of being stuck?
• Feel like no one is really listening?
• Got a great idea and want to manifest it quickly?

Today is the FINAL chance to get Soul Support for FREE (who doesn’t like free??)

In the comment box below, write a couple short paragraphs telling me YOUR reasons “WHY NOT:”

• Why not move forward?
• Why can’t you devote more time to yourself?  Nurture yourself? Heal?
• What keeps you from acting on those niggling intuitions you keep on the back burner of your psyche?

The top three submissions will win a 30 minute one-on-one laser coaching session with me.

This is your chance — bust those excuses, tell me your reasons why not, and win free coaching to get you moving from false fear to empowered inspiration.

Submissions will be picked based on sincerity, humor, and introspection.

Contest ends at Midnight US Mountain TODAY Sunday August 22!